Dating and other bad habits.

Memory is a strange thing. We all have those moments when a song comes on or a smell wafts in and our minds immediately transport us to a place and time and situation. This is not one of those stories. No. Because those things make sense to me. Of course a certain smell or place or sound can evoke a memory; that’s how the brain works.

But I would love it if someone could explain to me why, yesterday, while looking at outdoor pottery (yup, like the kind you put plants in), I suddenly started thinking about men I’d dated and hadn’t slept with.

Right. I know. Random. I even lost myself. But picture it…

I’m outdoors, wandering up and down the aisles looking at pots large and small, some glazed and some terra cotta. One part of my brain is no doubt transfixed on how awesome my herbs are going to look planted in small Mexican-style glazed pots (made in China). But the other, weird, part of my brain runs through a series of events. It’s like these two things are happening simultaneously but neither really is aware of the other. My brain goes something like this:

A. “Remember the time we dated that guy? Remember how the second time we hung out and were kissing and you said, “I’m  not going to sleep with you” and he laughed at you? I know, I thought it was weird too…”

B. “Ooo, the blue is pretty. Does it have a matching saucer I wonder? I won’t need that when it’s outside but while they’re still in the windowsill…. Maybe there are more saucers over here…”

A. “So remember how you dated for several months and still never had sex? I mean, it’s a good thing because that would just be one more person on the list. Not that you’re a slut. You’re totally not a slut. You have a respectable number and you remember most names, first and last. I’m just saying that it would be great if you had told some of those people “I’m not going to sleep with you” and see where that got you. Crap. What was I saying? This is getting out of hand. I didn’t mean that. Go back to the guy and the no sex and him laughing at you…”

B. “Yes! Matching saucer. Hey, wait, there are other colors over here. Green with the swirly and blue with the gradient? Is that what I want in the yard? Yeah, it will add a little color and will look nice inside when the herbs have to come in. Cool!”

A. “You know what? Let’s just forget the whole thing. I’m not even sure why I brought it up. That was like three years ago? Four? Where did that even come from? We don’t even think about that dude, mmm, pretty much ever. I’m sorry, weird of me… Oh, hey! Blue and green pots? Good choice, the herbs will look great in those!”

My brain is a funky funky place.